I somehow survived all of 2007 without having to pull an all-nighter.
Of course, until now.
I never fully appreciated the spectacular view of Manhattan I have from my studio until this morning. As it is I'm never in my room, especially when I need to get things done. (This place is a blackhole for productivity. I'm surprised I could even type that.) Regardless, I had the pleasure of watching the most beautiful sunrise in between tearing up a draft and drowning in strong Cuban coffee.
Which makes me sound like a terrible person, right? As a politics student with more liberal tendencies I always fancied myself a fan of all things UN. Until I actually started reading what I was assigned and realized how itchy multilateral action makes me.
That's right, itchy.
It doesn't help that I'm take a seminar on the UN, focusing on the Security Council and peacekeeping operations in Africa. It happens to be one of the best classes I've ever taken in my life. The professor can legitimately claim she helped found the Department of Peacekeeping. She has certificates and pictures and stories that will make you pee with glee or want to kill yourself. Now, the reason I took this class was to learn more about something I didnt really know to much about. Figured I'd widen my horizons, see what all the hype is about. Right?
WRONG.
Not only did I learn a whole bunch, but I've become completely disillusioned. My hate for the UN is not rival by many things. (It actually is, and it is too frivolous to write down given what I've spent the past week working on) But oh it exists. I'd always been told the UN was the ass puppet of the US and I never believed it until I got actual confirmation.
The point of this story is I just pulled 20 pages out of the dark recesses of my colon and am now shaping them into something that hopefully resembles a decent paper. I had this long tirade planned for my conclusion, to address what bothered me and how I hoped the UN would be capable of reform, but now none of it will come out. Not a single word. And I guess I'm also really upset because this class has been a huge part of my life for the better part of a year and not only am I disillusioned by the rest of the world has no idea. The American Idol fundraising-singing-extravaganza made me want to vomit. Because though I understand that pop culture is a great outlet and the perfect place to reach millions upon millions of people there is something wrong to me about Ryan Seacrest in khaki safari gear running around a country he couldnt spell or locate if you gave him a map market YOU ARE HERE. What's worse is no matter how horrifying those images are people are going to forget in a day. Maybe two. I would. I certainly did, at some point. Ashamed to say it, but its true.
I want my hope back, people.
This is just the beginning, too. I happen to have a professor with a huge heart and soul that I must worship, because she granted us an extension on a 14 page paper that would have been due today as well. God bless her and her Russian loving heart.
I did take a break tonight, to watch Lost. Which was an hour of my life that I am never getting back. I have faith, though. It's starting to get its mojo once again.
daygloparker is officially the anti-Christ. And I am officially BSG's bitch. Stay tuned for the plethora of word vomit that is going to erupt after finals hell.