Gregarius » Jennifer-Oksana

Jennifer-Oksana (10 unread)

Last Night's Telly

Posted: December 4th, 2007, 8:23am MST

Tags: heroes [edit]

Because I'm a little busy this morning...and TiVo-shifted everything to watch the first half of Monday Night Football (shorter MNF: What the FUCK, New England? Stop that. Stop that now), here are the shorter versions of Monday Night TV.

Will Casey kill him some Chuck for killing his car, as well as nefarious NSA duty? Meanwhile, the BuyMore's holiday cheer, down to Lester's "ahem" to remind Big Mike that it is HOLIDAY cheer, reminds us all how winning Buy More can be.

Oh, also, Morgan/Anna forever. They're awesome beyond Chuck's ken!

Peter Petrelli's douchitude knows no bounds, and yet I'm supposed to find him endearing and not a total douche full of self-righteous man pain who would have killinated the whole world "on accident" because he's a giant idiot.

Meanwhile, I feel Maya and Mohinder got about what they deserved from Sylar for being dumb. Nice of crazy-ass Elle to try to be a hero. Though honey, nobody needs to impress Stephen Toblowsky, as he's also a giant douche.

So now Micah's an orphan? Oh, that will clearly...um, nobody on this show dies. They're going to come back more often than X-Men, who, as Warren Ellis puts it, come back more often than Jesus. Nathan and Niki may not be back in Volume 3, but yeahhhh.

In short: This show may get it back, but it lost it pretty good this go-ground.

Sigh. This show has also not been as good as last season. Riley as a wannabe baller could have been funnier; instead it was kind of tedious.
Breaking News!

Posted: December 2nd, 2007, 10:34pm MST

Tags: [edit]

The Russians own LJ now. No, really. LiveJournal was just acquired by a Russian media group, SUP, on the grounds that while LJ is never going to be MySpace or Facebook in the States, it could make money for Russians.

I say, здравствуйте, мои друзеи! Те девyшек -- очень извращенный. (Forgive the case mistakes, I only speak Russian плохо. Очень плохо.)

*giggles*
Fic: You're No Rock'N'Roll Fun [Chuck, 1/1]

Posted: December 1st, 2007, 1:44am MST

Tags: fic [edit]

You're No Rock N'Roll Fun
by Jennifer-Oksana (jenniferoksana@yahoo.com)
Fandom: Chuck
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Morgan/Anna
Disclaimer: Media conglomerates I am not associated with own this product. I do not profit off it.
Summary: Anna has a sort of band, a sort of boyfriend, and a whole bunch of other stuff that makes her sort of happy.

One day Morgan suggests that they start a band while they're ignoring the floor, which isn't crawling with activity anyway. Mostly people who are going to end up working at a Buy More once they drop out of community college anyway.

"Okay," says Anna. "So you're lead guitar and I'm drums. Who's our singer? And does Chuck have to be our bassist? He'll just have one of his weird emergencies at a crucial moment, and that'll suck."

"Who else embodies the silent strength and power of a true bassist better than Chuck?" Morgan asks, giving her one of these looks that suggests she's nuts for even questioning this universal truth.

This is Anna Wu's life at twenty-one and she's getting older one second at a time.

"This is a dumb idea anyway," Anna replies, twirling her gum around her finger idly. "Nobody at the Buy More can sing. How are we supposed to be a truly epic band if we don't have a lead singer?"

"Melissa Auf der Mar managed with Hole," Morgan quips. Anna rolls her eyes.

She really doesn't have the right to. Anna's favorite musical artist is Princess Superstar, followed by Kanye West, followed by, and this is something she can't admit to Morgan or any of the herd, Evanescence. See, her brother hangs out with this pack of Korean kids, even though they're Chinese, and they like to "rice out" cars (their term, not hers) for fun. Thanks to them and her employee discount, she has a really great sound system to blast "Bring Me to Life" while she fights traffic on the 134 or the 210.

"Hey, what about Freaky Casey?" Anna suggests. "It's got to be more fun than asking Lester or Jeff to yodel off key and leer."

"Seriously, Casey?" Morgan asked. "That's crazy talk. Okay."

Anna digs Morgan, despite the fact he's in love with his (male) best friend, because he's able to man up and get shit done, and accept things sometimes are what they are. Like, fine, Chuck is cuter and smarter and less of a freaktoaster. Chuck definitely wouldn't get found dead after a thirty-six hour gaming session after attempting to both masturbate and frag at the same time.

Possibly Anna has considered humiliating ways for her boyfriend to die on occasion.

"Okay? Why?" Anna asks, suspicious.

Morgan shrugs. "Well, you know how Van Halen was awesome when David Lee Roth was the lead singer? Even though David Lee Roth is kind of an asshole? Casey could totally be a David Lee Roth, and I'd much rather be Van Halen than Van Hagar."

If Anna knew why Van Hagar was an insult and why David Lee Roth was cool, she suspects that whole rant would make sense. Though seriously, what up? It's not like Morgan is so much older than Anna. Maybe five years. Cultural frames of references don't completely dissolve over five years. Also, Van Halen was kind of an old band even when Morgan was a teenager, so whatever.

Before she can make up an answer, they have to go take care of customers, and so it's not until the two o'clock lull that Morgan and Anna can wander over to Casey, who is doing them all a valuable service by glaring at junior high kids, thus evicting them from Buy More by completely legal methods.

"What do you two want?" he asks.

"We want you to join our band," Anna says. He's kind of scary, but whatever. Guys like him can smell fear; she doesn't show any. "Can you sing?"

"Why would I want to join a band?" Casey asks.

Morgan's mouth falls open, but before he can irritate Casey into driving Anna into asking Jeff to sing for their band, Anna raises her hand. "Come with us. We'll show you, and then you can decide. Besides, there aren't any junior high kids here anymore and if you don't disappear, Big Mike might make you work a register."

That decides Casey, and within three minutes, they're set up on the Buy More's PS3 demo. Morgan pouts because Chuck won't play bass right now, but Anna and Casey glare him into submission.

"What is half this crap?" Casey asks as they look through the songs. "Fall Out Boy? That's not rock. Pick the damn Metallica song and if this sucks, I'm kicking your boyfriend's ass."

"Okay, then," Anna said. "I hope you don't suck, because then Lester has to sing. And nobody wants that."

"Shut up and let's play," Casey says, gripping the mike.

Such is the power of Rock Band that by the epic solo that Morgan is rocking in the middle of the song, Casey has started tapping his foot impatiently to get to belt out the lyrics. The small children who fear Casey slightly less than the devil or that creepy gym teacher are nodding along in unison.

It's kind of this universal peace and harmony moment, which is made even better by the fact they finish the song before Big Mike leaves his office to take the music away.

Even Chuck looks a little impressed. "You can sing," he says to Casey in this shock-and-awe voice.

"Get away from me, Bartowski," Casey growled.

Morgan gets in the way, of course. "Hey, Chuck's our bassist. We can't have friction in the band," he says, waving his hands around. "Also, look! Customers! They look menacing, even..."

They're two dudes in black suits, but suddenly Casey and Chuck are gone, and Anna is left with Morgan, staring in surprise.

"That man is hiding something from me," Morgan says, tapping his foot as Chuck rushes away.

"I can't imagine why," Anna says, giving him a sarcastic look before strolling back to the Nerd Herd to help a middle-aged guy choose a wireless router that would prevent, "those damn punk kids" next door from "stealing my internet and spying on me."

This is her life. Sort of boyfriend, sort of job, sort of band.

She is so cranking up "Bring Me to Life" when she heads home, there aren't even words. Not any at all.
I do not approve!

Posted: November 30th, 2007, 11:08pm MST

Tags: political [edit]

First: win a call from a Battlestar actor by supporting the strike! Me: "Oh, hi, Mary McDonnell thar. I bet she totally gets aid for the cause from her legions of lesbian hippie fans who support the writers anyway."

Actualy more like, in the crackverse, Vancouver Overlady Mary has declared, "This is a function of late capital, and the illusion of the labor elite. We are the proletariat, people! This is why white collar workers need unions!" And then she throws a sign, because in my world, everything is better when you're trying to be a baller.

In other news...

So the obesity rate has been level for SEVEN YEARS. No, really. SEVEN YEARS of the obesity epidemic panic. And considering the whole 1998 redefinition of what was overweight and what was obese...

Motherfuckers Be Making Shit Up, Yo.

I do not approve. I seriously DO NOT APPROVE. Especially when the data suggests the largest medical problem faced by those in the "overweight" category is the psychological damage of liars who claim not only are they ugly, they're unhealthy and don't deserve health insurance because OMG THEY DRIVE UP RATES WITH THEIR FAT UNHEALTHINESS.

I do NOT approve. Like, I actually thought there were more obese people, instead of it being a factor of definitional change with a side in the change of work hours and commutes of Americans, and you know, a smaller percentage of white people. It appalls me because the blatant lying with statistics, the blatant misuse of information to torment people (particularly women, and probably even more particularly young white women) just is wrong.

Finally: ANJI, CLICK ON THIS LINK. It's the story of Lee Jordan's brother, O'Shea Jordan, at Buster's School of Magic Tricks, AKA PS 22. Charissa, you will also enjoy that.
It's the best day ever...best day ever...

Posted: November 30th, 2007, 10:34am MST

Tags: im so vain [edit]

Today is already much better than yesterday, as we figured out why my video was failing to convert. We're letting people embed video in the product, and the software we use to make screencasts was failing to convert to the YouTube style videos we offer now. Training Manager guy and I did everything except sacrifice a goat to try to get it to work; FAILURE. This was worrying me, as if an engineer and a tech-dork can't get a codec to convert, your average user...well, LOLFAIL, and that would be super-bad, as the video feature is the GIANT NEW SHINY of our release. Plus, Camtasia is what my boss uses to make
our own training/promo videos and it seemed...unfortunate...if we could not produce training videos for our new features with the program we've been using for years.

Come to find out, someone has the LOLFAIL beta version of the release where multimedia is fuxx0red for our testing systems that are not QA. Me: "How many times can I say LOLFAIL in an LJ entry?"

At least three times, son. At least three times.

Add to this that I finally figured out how to cut a mile off my commute using the slightly confusing overpass route that doesn't require me to TOUCH Leesburg Pike and arrived at work at 8:51 even with traffic, and I'm in a good mood this morning. In fact, if I can in general validate that taking the Kidwell-overpass route means I arrive at 8:50, I can leave five or ten minutes later, and could possibly, y'know, get up five minutes later. Plus, today I'm awake enough to need tea rather than mochas. ALWAYS GOOD.

I will have to check about 3 or so if my Women in Their Twenties discussion group meets tonight, as I want to attend it, and the fourth Friday of November was clearly not an option. Otherwise, I am going to get a bra fitting at Nordstrom for a sports bra, have
dinner at Chili's, and spend my weekend writing fiction (I hope; I have a decent Ugly Betty story, a Chuck story about Anna that's got a nice start, and the BSG AU plotbunny), shopping, having my car tidied up, and finishing my Christmas gift list (magazines
for Xmas this year is my theme). Oh, and go to another dance class at my gym on Sunday, though it's almost worth it to get up at 10 on Sunday and going to the noon Ballet Fitness class at Tysons on the grounds that a) I can then get Anji a guest pass to shoot
hoops, and b) after all the bouncing around like a fool, low impact might be a good idea.

Also, to be a little shallow, my hair looks AMAZING today, and I look pretty darn good myself. But my hair curled nicely, and it's not being held back in any way, and I chose a cute outfit that looks like Tina Fey would wear it (my new fashion mantra is "to dress
like Tina Fey on 30 Rock, unless the outfit is clearly for jokes" because as a writer in IT, that's like, stylin' and cool and sexy librarian. Plus, my current personal icon is Tina Fey, because I too am funny, weird, and entertaining to corporate people, though no
one I work with is a Jackie D/Alec B) and I put on makeup, so I look all glowy and attractive.
Teach Your Children...yeah-huh.

Posted: November 29th, 2007, 11:28pm MST

Tags: political [edit]

English people fail at English literacy! ZOMG! It's all the fault of the Wii! And the posh for not making children READ THE BOOKS! And probably PC Labour educational policies, and and and...

And, and, and, STFU. As with most people's attempts to critique education, the problem is that people have high-level goals: "I want to teach our youth How to Think" without being to explain in a thirty second overview the elements of "how to think" skills, or the far more important thing, the logistical, on the ground benchmarks and goals that allow us to analyse and adjust How to Think Studies.

Whether it's the Wii, structural issues within the English language, class, all of the above plus more, the only reason the failure reasons are important are to ask, "how can we prevent this particular failure from happening?" or "what does this failure tell us about our options for fixing the problem?" All the rest of it is ego-wankery and nonsense. You can't make it unhappen by bitching out Labour or muttering about lazy youth. You have lazy youth to deal with, and that doesn't change; you teach the students you have, not the students you WISH you had, amirite?

Is this really so difficult to understand? It at least follows a rational path of thought, unlike, say, people who demand better schools, are told there is no money for them unless say, the State of Nevada institutes income tax, and scream how dare you tax me...but I want those better schools. (Shit like that, of course, is why I tend to analyze motive, and totally disbelieve what people say, because their actions and arguments explain their true prejudices better than their half-hearted words.)

God, I wish I had time to write fiction, but my brain keeps thinking about the world instead, and writing little things nobody comments on. Mrr.
So cardio kickboxing beat my ass. I ...

Posted: November 28th, 2007, 12:12am MST

Tags: [edit]

So cardio kickboxing beat my ass. I liked it, great workout, but why is it that all cardio exercise classes are like, "jump jump jump," man? I can't jump. I have flat feet and my knees and quads don't work together properly (ahahaha, ask me about stretch out the hamstring today. I really do need someone who stretches my limbs for me and does quick tenderizing of problem areas, I am just saying.)

I really need to engage a trainer to help me out with the goals. I don't really need a motivating trainer, I need a, "so weeks 1 and 2, do this schedule. Let's figure out your exercises to handle the fact that you have shitty joints" kind of trainer.

In other news: Paul Campos lays it out, re: the obesity epidemic and its bullshit ways. I mean, honestly, given the research, the BMI needs to be scrapped, or if we MUST have a retarded number to be skientific, people under a 30 BMI should be left the hell alone, 30-35 should be the "overweight" category (ie, your weight might influence risk factors) and then there could be some form of line between obese and morbid obesity that fits reality, which I don't know enough about to make discussion about.

Of course, that would upset people who like having a scientific justification to hate those damn fatties, and as that seems to be a lot of people who can't hate darkies, queers, and at least some of the bitches now, common sense seems to be resisted by hysteria. And given obesity rates are leveling off in the US, one gets the feeling set points may eventually get the attention they deserve.

Man, I meant to WRITE FICTION tonight, but no, I failed that, because I get all caught up in reading fat-acceptance blogs, which upset me anyway, because I...have a need to be vaguely upset sometimes? Also because NONE OF THE FIC I WRITE IS SHORT ANYMORE, so I can never finish it in one go, and then I don't get the feedback and blahhh. I need sleep now.
Hrmf!

Posted: November 28th, 2007, 3:41pm MST

Tags: [edit]

Oh,
this is ridiculous. See, right-wing kneejerkers
who think liberals don't criticize Muslims? I
critique! This is about the dumbest thing I ever
heard; now, granted, I think that if a Muslim teacher
let her kids name a teddy Jesus in South Carolina,
people would probably have a fit (for racist reasons
that are probably not much different than what
happened), though on the other hand, I tend to think
if a 6 year old spontaneously named a teddy bear Jesus
in South Carolina with a Christian teacher, fundie
parents wouldn't be arresting people. (I tend to think
it would ruffle more feathers about separation of
church and state in the US, but that's not the point.)

Still, that's a ridiculous situation. Yell at the kid
who named the teddy Muhammed if there must be yelling;
also, gently elbow the teacher in the ribs and say,
"Hey, let's avoid church/state ruffled feathers and
name teddy something else" which is actually what I
think would happen with A Teddy Named Jesus.

I always think the types who think "liberals hate on
Christians, but ignore the HORRIBLE ISLAMIC
ABUSES!1!!1!" are missing a very important point.

Do I think female circumcision/FGM is about the worst
thing that can happen to a woman, and is, on an
absolute scale, worse than say, 10% pay discrimination
for a white collar IT working woman? Sure.

HOWEVER, let's rationally consider what I can do, if
you accept that it is possible to think something is
horrible and not immediately give up your life to stop
it, as evidenced by the many, many Terror Warriors who
are darn sure Islamofascism is the Worst Thing Ever
but don't see the need to join the US military (which
needs the help) to stop it.

I can: give money to organizations; write letters to
the editor and to my Congressmen and Senators. I could
try to boycott Mid-East oil, but it would probably be
easier to join a charitable organization and go to the
Middle East to help women than do that, logistically.
(And before any dummy brings it up, I DON'T use
Windows; I use Linux. I will give you the rant on how
that is not really a choice in a corporate world ANY
TIME.)

Further, there's the limitations of our monkey brains.
I can feel really bad when reminded about FGM and the
awful plight of women in many locations on the globe.
It is far, far easier to feel something other than bad
when say, I'm being discriminated against, because I
have concrete targets, concrete strategies, and I
actually know something about the community I'm trying
to change. (See also: activism by White Liberals and
its problems, circa 1950 to now)

Shorter version: "I should stop improving my part of
the world and fighting for my rights because I can't
cure cancer and end war? Give me a break already."

In other news, I really am going to have to define my
role from the ground up in so many ways. Which is
exciting, but yeah, it's going to require meeting with
people and creating information and oh, so
time-consuming. (Though yay, it sounds like I can
probably telecommute even on travel days, which will
minimize my days off at work caused by buying a plane
ticket from the 20-26.)
All AUs need Amy Winehouse.

Posted: November 27th, 2007, 12:09am MST

Tags: reaper [edit]

Ohhhh, hell. Maybe I will write another part of the BSG rock and roll AU this weekend? For the SOLE purpose of bringing AU Amy Winehouse into it. Because come on now, rock star Starbuck vs. Amy Winehouse. She's even got a bad fake name -- Aimee Vinmaison. And I kind of need to bring Kendra Shaw into that giant drawer of wank, oh yes.

*cackle*
OK, that episode brought it up a notch with Julie Cooper and Katie, (Possible) Daughter of the Devil.

Also, because Sock and Satan's Follies are just lulz and win. I AM JUST SAYIN.

And if Andi went away, that would be okay with me, and I have finally remembered Ben's name, whereas before I was like, "he's Sam and Sock's other guy, the Ethnic Friend." And of course, he had a Mystical Ethnic Grandma. Which, sigh. Funny in some ways, but sigh. Especially when you get to the Nip/Tuck part of my night.

Julie Cooper thought the devil's name was Jerry. That amuses me. God knows why.

Dude, I cannot believe they pussied out on meth-whores Matt and Kimber being forced to sell Matt's sweet sweet ass. Also, so when are they going to pull a Trainspotting and kill the baby? You know it's coming.

Meanwhile, I know it's too much to hope Eden is gone forever, but seriously, how could Eden get away with that much? I mean, she's not even that evil a mastermind, if her gay friend from Queer Eye could convince her of her fatness. I did like Christian's handling of the situation, though god knows it's of course the threat of losing Sean that gets him. *eyeroll* Whatevs, dude, it's not the same as betraying your brother when you've been manipulated by your queerish ex-flame to get over your 10 inch dick, Christian. Sean would just LAUGH, okay? He'd yell at Julia, not you.

Could not get on board with the swingers' club. That just didn't work for me, did not work for me, did not work for me. I was just like, "yeah, this is full of straight-up second-tier racism in the guise of pretending to expose the inner demons of Sean" because yeah. Yeah.

This show does make me happy, and next week: REALITY TV SPOOF! WINNINATION!!!
My Workout and Me. And Also You.

Posted: November 27th, 2007, 5:03pm MST

Tags: [edit]

It is nice to be appreciated. Also, <-- totes not surprised that the PDF of
the User Guide is taking a million years to generate. Fisking RoboHelp.

Anj, if you see this, please wait to have dinner. I'm going to the gym, but
I wanna go out to that Italian place after that. There's nothing on except
Nip/Tuck (well, Reaper, but we can always watch that Wednesday, as I have
given up on Bionic Woman. NEEDS MOAR SACKHOFF!!) so I don't mind wandering
out to eat and be a grown-arsed adult not attached to the laptop and the
telly, right?

So last night I blundered my way, thanks to the utterly maze-like ways 123,
the mall roads, 495, and International Drive converge, to the other gym I
have privileges at on...wait for it...Old Meadow Lane.

Brief pause for the UCSB people to finish their bitter chuckling.

I think I mentioned this, but I cannot begin to describe how I started
having thinky thoughts about not only the gym, but the Social Squash for
Women classes they have on Sundays. Those tennis courts look NICE. Also, the
gym had this bike with a video game trail to "pretend" to ride that altered
all kinds of crap while you were at it. It was a nice 15 minutes of my
cardio (except that I wanted to be at the Tysons Sport and Health doing
cardio kickboxing. DETAILS) that I enjoyed like crazy. Like, I did 40
minutes of cardio, including a 12:25 mile, and discovered my shoulders do
not handle a lifting gap at ALL, but that my triceps are pretty strong.

Of course, I realized today that my muscles ached when I was stretching out
and taking a socialization break with the coworkers. I feel I'm doing better
and better at adapting to a white-collar environment, so that's good. But
back to my workout, tonight is a Jazz dance class at the Tysons Sport and
Health, so I'll do my abs and chest/back stuff, at the speed of LIGHT, yo,
and then boom, into a dance class. Tomorrow, Regency has a Cardio Kickboxing
class, so I can make up for yesterday's denial of kickboxing, plus my legs.

*ponders* Okay, tonight is leg machines and sit-ups and lower back. Tomorrow
will be chest/back and more traditional ab workout for me. There. Better
situated.

--

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Jennifer-Oksana (10 unread)

Posted: December 4th, 2007, 8:23am MST

Tags: heroes [edit]

Posted: December 2nd, 2007, 10:34pm MST

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Posted: December 1st, 2007, 1:44am MST

Tags: fic [edit]

Posted: November 30th, 2007, 11:08pm MST

Tags: political [edit]

Posted: November 30th, 2007, 10:34am MST

Tags: im so vain [edit]

Posted: November 29th, 2007, 11:28pm MST

Tags: political [edit]

Posted: November 28th, 2007, 12:12am MST

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Posted: November 28th, 2007, 3:41pm MST

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Posted: November 27th, 2007, 12:09am MST

Tags: reaper [edit]

Posted: November 27th, 2007, 5:03pm MST

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